i just google imaged poop.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
