I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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