just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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