do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
