that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
