ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
