Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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