I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
