i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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