Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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