everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize