The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
