She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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