Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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