Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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