so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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