my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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