but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
