so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
