Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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