my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
