And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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