So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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