rhymes with "ouble enetration"
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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