Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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