also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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