And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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