Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
