11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
