no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
