So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
