People with herpes should wear stickers.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It was confusing and full of hummus
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
