so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize