I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
