Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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