brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
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