also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
