Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
