I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
