u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
