stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
