I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We talked him into tasing himself.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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