Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize