I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
