btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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