Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
