sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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