Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
