He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
