i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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