Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
