Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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