Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
