i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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