well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
