i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
